I prayed for this

Prayed for 10 times.

Maurice Johnson

At the age of 41 it appears that love has failed to conquer again (1 Peter 4:8). After a 3-year relationship and one month until the wedding we decided the call it off due to irreconcilable differences. I pride myself on being true to GOD in everything I do but I feel like we lost touch with that leading up to the wedding. On top of that my best friend for 16 years has ghosted me and I don't know the reason why. A year ago, she texted me that she would be there for me if I needed her and one day, I had a dream that she died, I texted her and she never responded. I assume she's alive based on what her parents and the police (did a wellness check) said but it’s odd that she doesn’t want to talk to me as she has always talked to me no matter what (Psalm 34:18). Also, her voicemails stay full as if she doesn’t even use her phone which makes me wonder If there’s something else going on. My heart is broken from both situations as they happened around the same time considering all that has happened in 2020. My 2020 wasn’t as straight-forward since my Vehicle got stolen first week into lockdown despite living next door to a police officer. Also, I am highly stressed at my Job as I drive an hour to and an hour from work Monday-Friday. I have a coworker who shows up when he feels like it and my manager is aware but doesn't do anything about it. It appears that they plot to stress me out each day instead of making the work environment enjoyable. I know in the past 3 months my workload has increase significantly and it just seems like they are waiting for me to crack instead of evening out the workload. I've mentioned to my manager of my stress levels but it seems like he likes to motivate by fear and intimidation. As I am forced to not have feeling at work since the Manager says “They” are watching me and it’s not a good look to be sad or frustrated. With all of this stress I’ve been dealing with and I pray daily but I don’t have anyone to talk to as my parents don’t have their life together and my brothers are just as hateful as they are envious of me (Matthew 10:21-23). I've been in the state of Tennessee by myself for 18 years and I get tired of being alone here (Genesis 2:18). I just pray for peace, love and happiness as my road in life hasn’t been easy (2 John 1:3). I would like to have the opportunity to find love and serve the way GOD intended me to (Proverbs 18:22). Months later, I find myself in this Uncertain City of Nashville just making it day to day feeling that I am more outside of my comfort zone than I’ve ever been. I would like to good friends in my life and I would like to have a low stress job that I can look forward to going to (Philippians 4:19). My prayer is that after not having the best childhood and adulthood until this point that things turn around for the better so that I can have better clarity to serve GOD, love and feel loved, as well as have good people in my life to inspire me (Matthew 18:19), In Jesus name.

Received: November 19, 2022